There are so many emotions involved in this year.
Even though I'm nearly 29, I feel that I did a lot of growing up this year.

Re-growing.

I'd gotten so far away from my center;
in a lot of ways I still am far away,
but I'm closer now.

I hope I can re-establishing this connection.
There have been so many times in the past few years
that I've begun to re-connect with myself only to pull away again.
Typically, those times have been a sudden jolt of self,
as if my spirit walks up to my body and smacks in the face and says
"Look at me"
and I do,
but then quickly run away again.

This year, it hasn't been that way.
It has been slow.
I've been figuring out what I need and what should be,
not what I want or what had been.

Times have changed and I have changed.
What worked before might not work now.

So this is how I'm cataloguing 2007.
This was not an easy playlist to create because it tracks sides of me that I am not proud of,
but I have to be honest here and talk about when I've hidden or when I've played the victim.

You will also notice that while last year was the year of Snow Patrol,
this is the year of Tori Amos & her American Doll Posse album.

If you're interested in the music below,
just let me know.
I'll send you some tracks.

~~~~~~~

Girl Disappearing (Tori Amos) - "So I'm running to a constellation where they can still see you..."
As a Century Ends (David Gray) - "Be careful what you say, 'cause reality offends"
Army of Me (Bjork) - "I won't sympathize anymore...your rescue squad is too exhausted."
My Oh My (David Gray) "What on earth is going on with my heart, has it turned as cold as stone?"
Rootless Tree (Damien Rice) - "What I want from this is learn to let go"
Secret Spell (Tori Amos) - "You losing you was not a part of this plan...turn you around, you've still got your secret spell"
Smile (Lily Allen) - "At first when I see you cry it makes me smile.  At worst I feel bad for a while, but then I go ahead & smile."
Stromata (Charlotte Martin) - "I, you, we're not thinking my stromata."
Bouncing off Clouds (Tori Amos) - "You say you're waiting on faith, but I think fate is now waiting on us - make it easy, we could make this easy.  It's not as heavy as it seems. We can make this easy."
Ways & Means (Snow Patrol) - "Maybe I can do it if I put my back into it"
Fade (Staind) - "Now I'm older and I feel like I can let some of this anger fade...and now I step out of the darkness that my life became"
Hangin' Around (Counting Crows) - "I've been hanging around this old town for way too long."
Break Your Heart (Natalie Merchant) - "I know that it will hurt, I know that it will break your heart the way things are and the way they've been."
John the Revelator (Depeche Mode) - 'There is only one God through and through"
Where Fishes Go (Live) - "What are you doing in this darkness, baby, when you know that love will set you free? Come on out into the light of love, child."
It's all Understood (Jack Johnson) - "You missed the point & then you point your fingers at me saying I said not to believe... but I believe.
Teenage Hustling (Tori Amos) - "Me & my teenage hustling, I've been working it since I was 14 and it's gonna save me."
Human Nature (Madonna) - "I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me.  I'm not apologizing.  Would it sound better if I were a man?"
Fidelity (Regina Spektor) - "I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground & by protecting my heart truly, I got lost in the sound I hear in my mind."
Wow (Snow Patrol) - "My roll in this mess is not something that I can be proud of, but it's all gonna change, yes it's all going to change."
Forca (Nelly Furtado) - "When you step out into the world to start your day, you show your face & take it in & scream & pray."
Some Unholy War (Amy Winehouse) - "He still stands in spite of what his scars say & I'll battle until this bitter finale, just me & my dignity."
Babylon (David Gray) - "If you want it, come and get it"
You Owe Me Nothing (Alanis Morissette) - "There are no strings attached."
I Feel It All (Feist) - "I don't know what I knew before, but now I know I want to win the war."
Code Red (Tori Amos) - "Being trusted and lusted - it could be worse than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a good year.

Currently Listening The Reminder By Feist I Feel It All see related